Homeless Part II
Previously on Homeless Rabe began to pull the golden door handle, as I with all my strength ran towards the door, and kicked it with all my strength causing it to push Rabe back onto the floor. Rabe looked up at me, and yelled, "you stupid prick: first your wife spills hot water on me, and now you break my nose." Rabe said as he touched his now bloody nose. "Right question time," Harold Saxon began, "who exactly are you three, and what is your evil plan?" John Cornwall looked at us with a confused look before saying, "what evil plan? We just want to get our creations out there!" "And you plan to achieve that by murdering your boss Rabe?" Matthew asked. "Nope... like this!" Rabe said, as he pulled out a gun from his pants, and shot Saxon in the head with it. He didn't die from the shot however. Instead he collapsed into my hands. He looked at me, and said, "hey there rover come on over!" Sam then shot him with a shotgun killing him instantly. When we asked why he did that, Sam simply replied by saying, "a land rover killed my mother." I started laughing like the Joker when he got his first parking fine. "You sadistic bastard!" Sam yelled at me. "Tell that to them!" I complained while pointing at Rabe and his cohorts. Before Rabe could kill us too, we had already made our way outside of the police station. "What the heck do we do now?" Max asked. "This day has been a total fricking disaster!" I yelled before continuing, "My wife's dead, Saxon's dead, and now Rabe has control of the entire police force!" "So what's the plan Lazarus?" Sam asked while brushing himself off. I turned to my gang, and said, "there's only one person who can help us now." "And whose that?" Matthew asked. I ate a salmon sandwich before saying, The Shadow Reader." We headed back to my place due to Matthew's front door being broken, and they wouldn't stop going on about Saxon's death. I hated that prick, he deserved to die, remember when he slapped me back in part I? Whatever, we entered my living room, as Sam locked the door behind us. "So who is this Shadow Reader?" Sam asked as he entered the living room. "He's a creepypasta narrator, and our only hope for defeating Rabe Maniels and his gang." I explained. "So how do we get in contact with him?" Max asked while humping the sofa cushions. "With this." I said as I held up my laptop which had a video of Shadow playing on it. He was doing a live stream entitled, 'sup bois got sum milk?' The stream had Shadow downing several massive bottles of milk, and then crying when he ran out. Honestly, it was more like a comedy sketch than a stream. I started typing on the keyboard, and commented, 'Shadow it's Lazarus Marmite. We got a problem.... Rabe Maniels is here.' As soon as I posted it, Shadow froze for ten solid minutes, before turning to face the screen, and said, "I'm on my way." And with a flick of a hat, Shadow was in my living room, and he had Otterton placed proudly upon his shoulder a bit like a pirate who has a parrot on their shoulders. "How the hell did he get here so quickly?" Sam asked who was so shocked that he dropped my cookie jar on the floor breaking it into a million pieces just like he did at Matthew's place. Rude carrot onion. "You can thank Otterton for that. He has teleportation powers." Shadow explained. "But that's impossible." Matthew said bewildered. "Nothing is impossible big ears." Shadow joked which caused Matthew to try and punch him. "I wouldn't do that if I were you" Shadow began. "not if you want to stop Rabe Maniels that is." "Okay we're listening." Matthew replied while backing up from Shadow's face. "So what the heck are Rabe and his pals up to Shadow?" I asked, as I made cups of tea in the kitchen. "Nevermind that..." Matthew began, "who exactly are you?" Shadow turned to look at him, and gave him a cheeky grin kind of like the cat from Alice In Wonderland. He then said, "I'm The Shadow Reader, and I am the slayer of lost episodes." "But I thought that all lost episodes were fake." Max said. "That's what they want people to believe" Shadow began, "but in reality they're all real... and you should know you've seen some of them already." Shadow went on, "SpongeBob Needs Help' and "Mickey Loses Everything" they're both completely real, and so are the rest. So if we don't stop Rabe then he could take over the entire world with his lost episodes." I came back into the living room, and placed the cups of tea onto a small wooden coffee table in the corner of the room. "So what's our plan then?" I asked. "I'm hacking into the television centre's security system." Shadow explained while typing away like a mad man. "And why is this?" Sam asked confused. "Why don't you watch and find out?" Shadow asked, as the laptop screen now displayed the full security footage from the television centre It showed Wilfred making his way towards the office of Mel Brooks chairman of the Centre. On another camera, we saw Brooks on the phone to someone. "we're still getting complaints from parents over that Mickey Mouse Clubhouse finale. How the hell did that get on television. It wasn't even the scheduled program!" Brooks yelled, and it caused me to fall off the sofa because of how loud it was. "Right Sir I'll see to it that all reruns of the finale are officially blocked by our support staff." Brooks said, and then the phone call ended. "Bloody cockmuncher" Brooks said before continuing with, "This finale is real, and it's controversies are proving to be very costly." Brooks then turned to see Wilfred in the doorway, who began dancing towards him. He then hit Brooks over the head with a walking cane completely breaking Brooks' skull, and his head collapsed on his computer table. "Is he dead?" John asked, as he entered the office. "Yep... let Rabe know." Wilfred said happily, as John picked up the phone to speak to Rabe. "Rabe it's John... we've done it!" I could hear Rabe on the other end saying, "excellent work you two! Now you know what you must do." Rabe said confidently. "It would be our pleasure Rabe," John said as he began typing on Mel's keyboard. Wilfred meanwhile threw Mel's corpse into the storage cupboard. and locked the door behind him. Suddenly, the laptop screen turned to static, and it came back with Rabe on the screen. "Planet Earth... human kind today we are entering a brand new era of television." Rabe said before continuing, "today dawns the era of Rabe Maniels TV. From now, all shows on Television have been offically cancelled, and the only shows you can watch are that of my creation. No more SpongeBob, no more Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, it's all about me." Rabe said eviiy. "Are you sitting comfortebly? Then we can begin!" Rabe said, as the screen changed to one of his brand new TV shows called, 'Oinkie Oink.' Oinkie Oink was about a group of pigs owning a bar in Manhatten, and having to deal with an evil debt collector named Vladimir Gladstone who was a fat fucking bulldog. Shadow tried to browse the internet, but he couldn't. All the links he tried clicking on, led to one of Rabe's shows. Another one was called 'Dr Humpty,' and it was a parody of Dr Phil with Humpty Dumpty helping people with their problems. Another show was called, 'Loving The Salmon," which had two men going around people's houses, getting them to sniff their salmon. Sounds dirty doesn't it? "What the hell did they do!?" Matthew asked furiously. "John hacked into the television centre's database, and replaced all the shows with Rabe's own creations. Now every TV channel, and website on the internet shows one of their shows." Shadow explained while rubbing his head with a block of butter. "Well it's not hurting anyone is it?" Max asked. "Not yet but pretty soon the world will burn without it's regular schedueld programing." "Why?" I asked. "Because a prophecy once told of a man named Rabe Maniels who would bring about the end of the world by changing television forever." Shadow then got off his chair, and ran outside into the garden. "where the heck are you going!?" We all cried out in unison. "I'm off to make a quick phone call. It'll only be a tick." Shadow explained, as he made his way deeper and deeper into the garden. Also I should mention that my garden was the size of a full football field so yeah. I looked at my watch, it was now 5.00 am. What a day! I mean look at how things have gone so far. We lost Harold and Edith, Rabe now controls all of television, and if he isn't stopped, the whole world could be destroyed. Shadow then entered the house once again, this time with a confident smile. Suddenly, another man walked in from behind him, and said, "Sup guys it's me DaveTheUseless." "Why is he here?" I asked confused as a confused man often does when confused. "Dave'a gonna help us out, and so is...." Shadow began, as a big muscled man climbed out of my fridge. "John Cena!?" We all with the exception of Shadow and Dave cried out confused. "That's right. Now this cottage cheese is also wrong. Throw it out!" John said while throwing a jar of cottage cheese at me. "Will do." I said still have dazed by all the craziness going on in front of me. Shadow then placed a black fedora upon his head, and yelled,. "gentlemen it's time to take back television!" We made our way outside onto the streets, and we made our advance towards the television centre only to be stopped by a large group of police officers who had placed a border on the road going into the city. "And where the hell do you lot think you're going?" One of the officers asked. "Hey come on Daniel don't be a dick let us through." Sam said as tried to nudge his way past Daniel only to get himself hit in the gut by a police baton. Sam fell to the floor, and groaned in pain. "Police commissioner Rabe Maniels has ordered us to place this street on lock down. Ain't no one getting through here." Daniel explained. "Oh yeah? Well take this." John Cena said as he downed a whole jar of pickles, and turned super fast. He ran like Sonic The Hedgehog, and ran straight through the border. We followed through, and Daniel and his fellow officers were so distracted by Cena's speed that they couldn't catch any of us even Sam who had shat all over the road because the batton had struck his bowels. Sounds kinky I know. I turned around, and saw Daniel talking on his police radio. He said, "Rabe it's Daniel. They've gotten through." Daniel then nodded, and said, "very good Rabe they shall be dealt with." Daniel and his officers then began chasing us through the city. We managed to lose them after taking the scenic route through Chinatown. We then finally arrived at television centre, and Dave pulled out a megaphone placing it to his mouth. "Rabe Maniels! Come out here right out now, or we will be forced to take back the centre by force!" No response was given. "Right have it your way! Right it's time to go to work!" Dave yelled, as we charged towards the centre with Shadow leading the attack. We barged into the office which formally belonged to Mel Brooks, as Wilfred got up from the desk, and said, "you shouldn't have come here." "Look Wilf listen to me..." Shadow began, "Rabe is just using you and John. He's going to destroy the world, and he's going to kill anyone whose associated with him." "Why would he do that?" I asked. "So he can take the credit for it." Dave explained. Suddenly, a low clap could be heard from the storage cupboard behind Wilfred, as Rabe came in with John following behind him. Alan Johnson was also there having finished up his business with Asquith. "Well you've crashed a few parties before, but I never expected you to make this far." Rabe said evilly, "Now it's time for us to give you a warning" Rabe began, "leave the centre or I'll be forced to execute every last one of you." "Over my dead body!" Dave yelled, as he pulled out a massive sword from his ear. "Where the hell were you keeping that!?" Sam asked bewildered. "You really don't want to know." Dave as he lunged towards John with the sword in his hand. He threw the sword into John's eye, and it came out the other side of his head. John then collapsed dead on the floor with the sword piercing through his skull. "John!" Wilfred cried out. "Shut up Wilfred!" Rabe barked harshly, "We have more important matters at hand. Johnson take care of these renegades, but leave Mr Marmite and Mr Williams for me. As for you Wilfred come with me. It's time to give you your reward." Rabe said as he left the office with Wilfred following behind him like a loyal little solider. Alan said, "my pleasure," before pulling out the flamethrower from earlier. "Now then boys where were we?" He asked. "Come on it's just a guy in a nice suit. We can take a guy in a nice suit right guys?" I asked nervously. "He's not alone." Dave said, as the old ladies who helped dispose of Asquith came in through the fireplace. Yes the office had a fireplace just don't ask! "Starfish and cream on a school night!?" They asked bewildered. "Are you sure about?" John Cena asked rhetorically before doing a ground slam on top of one of the old ladies breaking her in half like a Twix chocolate bar. "Maple!" The old lady yelled in despair. "Get ready for this!" She barked, as she began knitting like mad. "Don't mess with me sweetheart I've got a jammy dodger." Dave warned as he held a jammy dodger. She knitted a massive robot which then charged towards us. It stomped on Alan inadvertently killing him. "Shit the control's are a bit off." The old lady said while adjusting her glasses. "Time to unleash Otterton!" Shadow yelled at the top of his lungs, as all of the sudden Otterton flew up into the sky, and a pink bubble surrounded him. "Go for it little buddy." Shadow said happily. Otterton then charged towards the wool robot, and began beating the ever loving daylights out of it with bolts of electricity. "Where can I get one of those?" Matthew asked, as we all grabbed the old lady by her arms, and then proceeded to throw her out the three story building killing her as well. Suddenly, the robot stopped attacking us, and instead... bowed it's head? "What the hell?" Max asked, "I thought it wanted to kill us?" "Otterton changed it's settings, now it obeys us!" Shadow explained while placing Otterton back onto his shoulder. "Right it's time to finally finish this thing!" Dave yelled as we all climbed on top of the robot, and crashed our way through the celiing, and onto the rooftop where Rabe was talking to Wilfred about his 'reward.' "Wilfred for all your hard work I'm finally giving you what you deserve!" Rabe said as he pulled a gun out from behind his back, and pointed at Wilfred who looked completely terrified by this action. "Rabe no! Think of all the good times!" Wilfred pleaded, as tears began to roll down his face. "Goodnight Mr Mott." Rabe said he pulled his finger back on the trigger. "NO!!!!" I yelled at the top of my lungs, as I jumped off the robot, and tackled Rabe. Wilfred took the gun from his hand, and gave it to Matthew. "You're too late all of you! You're too late!" Rabe proclaimed while laughing an evil laugh, as the sky turned orange, and a large crack appeared. It began sucking up buildings, and the ground below the centre turned into lava. The ocean far away turned into dust, and everything began to crumble. Rabe then rose to be 50 foot tall, and his eyes turned bright red. He said evily, "you should have done what I told you to do." Rabe said before finishing with, "don't go public with the DVD's!" He then lunged towards me and Wilfred, but the Wool Robot stepped in, and picked us up placing us on it's shoulders. "This thing ends now Rabe!" Shadow yelled, as the fight to end all fights began. The fight was amazing, the robot and Rabe fought to death, and blood, and wool went all over the place. "You forgot Rabe there's one thing you never mix with a lost episode." Shadow said. "And what's that Shadow Reader?" Rabe asked as he lunged towards it. "Me." Shadow said as he made the robot charge towards Rabe. However, we proved to be an uneven match, as Rabe threw a massive punch at the robot's chest which caused the entire thing to dissolve into a broken mess of wool. We all fell down, and lied there defeated, as Rabe raised his massive shoe ready to stomp on us. "Not today!" Matthew proclaimed as he fired the gun. The bullet flew straight past Rabe. "Ha you idiot you missed me! What are you going do now?" Rabe asked while laughing hysterically. "I wasn't aiming at you." Matthew said smugly, as the bullet hit the TV transmitter which was on top of the building, destroying it instantly. "NO!!!!!!!!" Rabe cried in anger as the world returned to normal. "I'll make more lost episodes just you wait!" Rabe warned. "Are you sure about that?" Cena asked, as Otterton flew towards Rabe, and with all his power pushed Rabe and himself into the crack just before it sealed off for good. "Otterton..." Shadow said sadly. "He sacrificed himself. To save the world from Rabe." I said in utter disbelief. "Still you have to admit this would make one hell of a movie." Max said, and we all agreed with him. A few days passed, and we were all in attendance at Edith and Saxon's funerals. We had decided to hold a double funeral for both of them. "So what now?" Matthew asked me. "What do you mean?" I asked. "You gonna get back out there or..." "Of course I'm going to do, but maybe I'll give it sometime." I said with a small smile on my face. "Been one hell of an adventure hasn't it?" Dave asked while drinking from a flask. "Sure has what will you do now?" I asked. "I'm going to go back to I love doing: narrating creepypastas." Dave explained. "Well we best be on our way then." Shadow said as he entered the graveyard with Otterton on his shoulder. "Otterton! You're here but how?" Me and Matthew asked confused. "He jumped out of the crack just before it closed with Rabe inside it." Shadow explained. "Don't think this is goodbye guys, we'll meet again, and take care of Wilfred for me." He said as Wilfred appeared behind us. "But there's one thing you never told us Shadow" Wilfred began, "what will you do now." "Same as Dave to be honest. There's lots of stories out there that me and Otterton need to see." Shadow said. We all began crying, and Shadow simply said, "this won't be the last time we see each other." As he and Dave teleported themselves back home. We all waved goodbye, and then made our way back to Matthew's place. We sat down on the sofa, and changed the channel over to the afternoon news. "A good day for London as come, as police detective Sam has taken over as new police commissioner while his partner Max has taken over as new assistant commissioner." The news anocher said, as it cut to show Sam and Max at a press confronance discussing their promotion. "And we assure you, that as long as we walk the Earth, no harm will fall upon it." Sam said happily. Then the anochor said, "and in wrestling news, John Cena has returned to the business with his new move known as the fridge slammer." It then showed John slamming a fridge down on Mikey The Beck's shoulder. (A/N: I know nothing about wrestling just so you know. So don't @ me.) I looked at Matthew and Wilfred, and smiled. We had a mission. A mission to find all lost episodes, and bring them to justice. We were the Lost Episode Busters. Whenever there's a lost episode we'll be there, when you need help we'll be there, and when there's a cup of tea on the boil we'll be there. The End Category:Bruno Tattagllia